Recovering from the Precipice of Leadership Failure

Let’s talk about a difficult secret that Leaders sometimes carry.

I have been a thought partner and Executive Coach to many leaders who have just survived formal investigations, grievances to Unions, and complaints to their internal Human Resources departments about their leadership choices (or lack of choices). Some have even sought legal counsel to understand their options while these official proceedings were underway. I’ve heard stories of leaders laying in bed at night terrorized by the thought of being fired the next day and paralyzing fear upon entering the office.

In my experience, this is far more common than you would think, especially in big hierarchical organizations where silos and miscommunications abound. Not to mention the fact that we all have unintended impacts daily. I am not writing this to excuse poor behaviour because I have also Coached those receiving harmful leadership and that’s a different article. Rather I am writing this because I want leaders to build resilience and inner strength even in the extremely painful experiences they have created.

It does start with owning a leader’s contributions to what is. The leaders I am talking about have indeed made poor deliberate and unintentional choices in terms of the behaviours they choose to demonstrate with their teams. It’s extremely scary to be that person. If you’re reading this and this has happened to you, you may still be carrying this as a heavy, painful secret.

One of the most significant benefits of working with a Certified-Coach is that we have had the opportunity to work with a wide range of executives and levels in many different sectors. Because we provide a safe, confidential environment, leaders are more likely to tell us their deepest fears and thoughts that they wouldn’t discuss with others. We’ve seen and heard a lot about failure. Given this, I’d want to minimize the stigma associated with this type of leadership failure. You aren’t alone.

In Coaching circles, such clients can be referred to as "remedial" coaching clients.

When I first meet a new client whose company is paying for the coaching contract, one of the things on my mind is whether or not the potential client has been mandated to start a coaching relationship with me. Have they “been bad” and sent to Coach to be fixed? It sounds terrible but this is how it works sometimes.

And as Brené Brown shares, shame can hold us back from forming connections and living wholeheartedly by focusing us on what we’ve done instead of who we are. For these reasons, shame is not an effective motivator for transformational change and growth.

Honestly, I don’t think that most HR departments and organizations know what to do with a leader who has faced this kind of failure. As a result, the leader comes into the Coaching relationship, fully in protection mode, ready to defend their behaviours, shut down, and defeated. This is also normal. Normalizing all facets of human experience is also a valuable aspect of working with a Certified Coach.

Here's the hopeful part: perceptions about leaders can change.

have observed leaders completely heal psychologically unsafe relationships with their teams. What is first needed is to not be judged for what they’ve done, not by me, and to manage the self-shaming. This is an incredibly challenging process because their negative self-talk is on steroids by the time we meet.

The next step is also counter-intuitive: they must be more exposed and open, not less. Patrick Lencioni advises vulnerability-based trust, which takes less time to build and is based on admitting mistakes, stating when unsure, and apologizing as needed. Vulnerability also requires giving their teams insight into who they are and what they’re working on. Not only does this give their team permission to ultimately do the same things eventually, but it also helps cut down on miscommunication.

To make this more concrete, this might sound like:

“I tend to be very direct in how I communicate and it can come across as edgy and cold. It’s not what I want and it’s something I’m working and I need your help. I will check in with you regularly to see if my intentions and impacts align but I am hoping you can let me know if I’ve come across badly.”

Or…

“I don’t know much about this area of the business and so I am going to ask you a lot of questions. This is for my own learning, not because I am questioning what you’re doing. I hope that’s ok and I would like to check in with you on this because I don’t want you to feel micro-managed.”

These above examples are more of a proactive approach and normally the conversations the leaders I work have to have with their teams are much more challenging. Can you imagine giving your team insight into who you are and your growth opportunities after facing secret proceedings behind closed doors and worrying every night that you’d be fired?

Every time I observe a leader take these actions, I am awed and inspired. It takes tremendous bravery and fortitude to resist being fragile and giving up.

Let’s not mistake, that this is not a fast process, it takes one step at a time, one day at a time. And I think that cultivating this inner resilience and self-awareness is the type of leadership the world needs most right now. I believe that when it comes to the challenges, uncertainty, and crises that the world is presently facing, those who have faced these problems and restored their team’s trust in them will lead us to a new era.

We need to turn towards each other, not away or against.

And finally, I do hope you’ll send me your remedial coaching clients. And please don’t call them that.

Navigate the skies at your own altitude,
with Jess & Kerri

Kerri, Co-Founder & Strategic Lead at Precipice (she/her)

As Co-Founder and Strategic Leader of Precipice, Kerri drives innovation and growth. With an MBA and Certified Coach designation, she brings a strong academic foundation. Her forward-thinking vision has been instrumental in integrating design thinking into Precipice’s unique approach. Her career spans from precision machining to diverse sectors like Oil & Gas leadership and community health at Community Natural Foods and Alberta Health Services in both front line and corporate leadership roles. Noteworthy roles include leadership in medical equipment planning for facilities like Calgary’s Bridgeland Riverside Continuing Care and Medicine Hat Regional Hospital. Kerri’s versatility shines in collaborations with Precipice’s clients, from facilitating change management to creative strategic planning. A dedicated learner, her adventurous spirit extends to creative hobbies.

Jess, Co-Founder and Creative Experience Designer at Precipice (she/her)

Jess excels in crafting unique client experiences, collaborating with Kerri to develop transformative programs for leading organizations. Since 2019, Precipice has led diverse leadership initiatives, from steering leaders through acquisitions to creating year-long development experiences for departments in Alberta Health Services. Jess proudly created the Conflict Agility program and swiftly tackled pandemic challenges with the “Cultivating Resilience” webinar series. Precipice has also proudly collaborated with the University of Alberta on two multi-day leadership development programs and initiatives on creating a culture of care. Jess’s background in acting and theatre adds a unique touch to her work, leading to innovations like the Conflict Lab—a blend of theatrical practice and conflict resolution that has benefitted many clients, including a pilot with J5 Design. Jess’s passion extends beyond work; from previously being a yoga instructor to a Spinning and F45 enthusiast, she even started out as a Marilyn Monroe impersonator in her varied career!

Client Feedback

Testimonials

I cannot say enough about the people behind Precipice Development and the work they do. I have worked with Jess and Kerri to co-design two comprehensive leadership programs at the University of Alberta. The content they bring forward is thoughtful, context-aware and well researched; their facilitation, authentic and engaging yet humble. Jess and Kerri live the practices they teach and it shows. It has been such a pleasure to work with and learn from them.

Our organization was grateful for Jess & Kerri's ability to hold space for challenging and brave conversations - it really set us up for success for the next year and I'm excited to see how we can continue to engage them in this work.

“Jess & Kerri, thank you so much for taking the time to help me with my mindset and perspective on my peers. Your techniques started working within the first 10 minutes. Amazing! The meetings became productive and stress-free.”

"The work you do makes a difference not only in the productivity of employees but in the lives of individuals. There are many challenges around us but if we remain curious and open, we can see them as opportunities for growth and deeper understanding. Your energy, thoughtfulness, and amazing ability to stimulate others to ‘see’ is so valuable in this journey. Keep up the great work – although you may not see it, even if it changes one parent’s spirit when they come home to their spouse and children, just imagine what a difference that can make."

“I wanted to thank you for a very fun and interesting day yesterday at the course… I learned some things about myself. You were very entertaining in your delivery and made the day whiz by.”

“I just wanted to thank you sincerely for the coaching course. I thoroughly enjoyed this session as it was highly relatable to my future endeavors.”

“You are such a great coach and bring the best out of people. Working with you has been a great growth opportunity for me!”

In our Relationship Coaching sessions with Jess we feel like we enter a bright room, and everything hard, confusing and painful gets lit up in a higher way, bringing immediate clarity and lasting compassion, for ourselves and each other. She has a gift for asking potent questions that unravel inner wisdom. She is loaded up with tools to share, many of which have completely changed how we handle conflict, bringing us out of exhausting blame & shame cycles, into elevated conversations rich with vulnerable sharing and compassionate listening, that lead to lasting positive change. Investing in Jess as your coach is an investment in the joy, health and peace of your relationship, and therefore your entire life. If it's not already abundantly clear, we could not recommend her highly enough. Thank you Jess!

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